When the Words Don’t Come: Why Some Partners Never Give Compliments

Mar 27

2 min read

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Compliments are an important part of any relationship. They make people feel valued, loved, and appreciated. However, some partners rarely, if ever, give compliments. This lack of verbal affirmation can lead to feelings of insecurity and frustration in the relationship. There are many possible reasons why a person might not offer compliments, ranging from personality traits to deeper relationship dynamics.

1. They Assume You Already Know

One reason a partner might not compliment their significant other is that they assume their feelings are obvious. Some people believe that actions speak louder than words, and because they stay committed, help with responsibilities, or show affection in other ways, they think verbal compliments are unnecessary (Chapman, 1995). However, while actions are important, verbal affirmation is a love language that many people need to feel truly valued.

2. They Weren’t Raised to Express Affection

A person's upbringing plays a major role in how they express love. Some individuals grow up in families where compliments and verbal praise were rare. Instead, love was shown through actions, such as providing for the family or doing kind deeds. As a result, they may not realize that their partner craves verbal appreciation (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

*One partner turns away from the other.*

3. They Are Unaware of Its Importance

Some partners simply do not understand how much compliments matter. If someone personally does not need compliments to feel loved, they may not think to offer them to their partner. This can be especially common in relationships where love languages differ (Chapman, 1995).

4. They Are Distracted or Stressed

Life responsibilities, work pressures, and personal stress can make it difficult for some people to focus on their partner’s emotional needs. A partner who is preoccupied with daily stressors may not realize they have stopped offering compliments. This does not mean they do not care—it may simply be that their mind is elsewhere (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

5. They Take Their Partner for Granted

In long-term relationships, partners can sometimes fall into routines and stop noticing the small details that once stood out. This can lead to taking the other person for granted. When a partner assumes their significant other will always be there, they may stop putting effort into making them feel special (Perel, 2017).

6. There May Be Underlying Relationship Issues

A lack of compliments could also be a symptom of deeper relationship problems. If a partner is feeling disconnected, frustrated, or resentful, they may stop offering affirmations as a way of distancing themselves. In such cases, open and honest communication is necessary to address any underlying issues (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

Conclusion

While a lack of compliments can be frustrating, it is often not a sign of a lack of love. Understanding the reasons behind it can help partners communicate their needs and strengthen their relationship. Expressing appreciation, whether through words or actions, is a key part of maintaining emotional connection.